Crying on the way “Home”

Moving out on your own always sounds like a great idea. I mean, sure there are the bills and everything that comes along with it, but the reality is you are FREE. Free from rules, free from expectations other than your own (and maybe your roommate’s), free from being nagged about your messy room.

But once the boxes are unpacked and the moving dust has settled – you might have time for the reality of this change to weigh on your mind. Maybe you underestimated just how much you valued all those things you’re now “free” from; not to mention, all the benefits you had before that you most likely took for granted (such as your mom packing your lunch for work every day- thanks, mom).   

   

Sometimes you’re driving home and realize you got off the wrong exit because you forgot that isn’t “home” anymore. Sometimes you have a question that you know your mom could answer but instead of walking down the hallway you have to pick up the phone. Sometimes your roommate isn’t home so there’s just too much silence. And sometimes it all just gets to you – more than you thought it could.

But even with the few downsides, moving out really can have plenty of upsides, especially when you plan things right and you know you're ready. It gives you an opportunity to test yourself and find your strengths and weaknesses in a new realm of adulthood. It allows you to learn more about yourself than you could have if you never left home. 

So maybe you'll cry on the way to your new home for a few days. But eventually it won't make much of a difference because you'll know that no matter where you are, you still have your family. They're just not down the hallway anymore, but that's okay because you can walk around the house without pants on.

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Happy Holidays

"This is America - Say Merry Christmas!" 

Allow me to break down this completely ridiculous phrase real quick... 

Sure - this is America. A country made up of so many diverse backgrounds, cultures, and - you guessed it - religions. So I ask, why should we then be expected to only say Merry Christmas when there are so many people around us who don't celebrate it? You can say it's the "majority" but that doesn't make it unanimous. This is America - land of the FREE. As in, freedom of religion. As in, freedom to not have to be subjected to Christianity and it's practices if individuals so do choose because we (SURPRISE) don't have a national religion. I thought this was clear in my third grade history book, but maybe a lot of people skipped that chapter...

I'm not asking you to go around and say "Hey, which holiday do you celebrate so I may wish you a happy-whatever and not offend you." I'm asking you to just say "Happy Holidays" because we already have a phrase that takes the place of that completely unnecessary question and still allows you to wish others well during this season. You could always give "Season's Greetings" a test drive if "Happy Holidays" is just not doing the trick for you. 

And I'm not saying you shouldn't say "Merry Christmas" to someone who you know celebrates it. I'm just saying if you don't know just stick with the ever-so-inclusive "Happy Holidays." And no it's not because I'm a spineless liberal - it's because I'm a Christian who can acknowledge that not everyone believes what I do, but I'm happy to encourage them to celebrate whatever holiday resonates with them this season and I hope that they start the new year happy and healthy. Now isn't that what we all should want for everyone? 

So this year instead of squinting your eyes and saying "Merry Christmas" to someone who wishes you "Happy Holidays" - how about you just say "You too." Cool, glad we could agree on that.

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Hire Me... I'm Begging You

I never thought that looking for a full time job would be so hard. Everyone always said, "Go to college. Get a degree." And that's what I did. I dedicated countless hours and thousands of dollars worth in debt to get this mystical piece of paper that people told me would be my only ticket to a happy, successful life.

The job search process is hands down one of the most crushing experiences. You consistently sell yourself for things just to get rejections weeks later when you forgot you ever applied. You write countless cover letters. Read your resume so many times you wonder if you'd even hire yourself. My search honestly made me question my sanity at some of the lowest points.

If you're lucky like me and eventually find something - it can make the search finally seem worth it. But before you reach that point it can seriously make you question everything. What you studied. Where you studied. Where you moved after graduation. Why you didn't join certain clubs in college. Why you didn't try harder in that one stupid freshman class that was supposed to teach you what to do with the rest of your life and how to write a resume because good lord that would be handy right now. The list goes on.

But as much as the experience can crush you, it can also teach you to build yourself up, keep your options open, and how not to sell yourself short. The key to it all is keeping your cool and remaining confident. I know what you're thinking - "Sure you say that now that you have a job." But I'm serious. Beating yourself down and feeling sorry for yourself won't help you find a job. You have to remember that the right place will want you. You have to ensure you have a good support system to be there for you and keep pushing. Eventually you will find something and maybe it won't be your forever career, but it's a start.

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Bypass Bigotry

The reality is, racism isn't born into someone - it is taught. From the very moment that a racist comment leaves someones mouth it is transposed into the minds of the people around them. And unfortunately some of them aren't strong enough not to blindly follow. One day you were sitting around the dinner table and someone said something racist and all of a sudden the innocent frame of mind from which you used to see the world became a cracked pane of glass, each fracture dividing everyone into categories that had an assigned value. And yours was placed at the very top.

Even as someone who sits on the fence of Black vs. Blue, unable to pick sides because I think we do enough of that already, I will still say that racism in any case is wrong. To single out a group of people and label them less than isn't anyone's place. No one has that power, but some just feel they are so privileged that they should.

So don't be upset when you see people out protesting to try and make changes. You see it as a waste of time or a pain in your ass, but they see it as their only hope of creating a better life for themselves. They're not hurting anyone, so let them do what they came here to do. And no I'm not talking about burning flags here because that is, in my opinion, disgraceful.

But so many people are pissed off that protesters are blocking sidewalks and barricading freeways. But what so many people fail to realize is it's a metaphor for the constant blockades that minority groups face in this country. They are consistently pushed away from paths of opportunity or they never even make it to them because they are pushed in directions that impede their progress.

As much as many people can find this form of protest to be a nuisance - they are just trying to be heard. You may view it as ineffective, but then again you've probably never had to protest for the safety and equality of your entire race. You having to choose another street or walk the extra block enables you to check your privilege and walk away. You'll look a lot better than the people who try to drive or push straight through them. Bypass bigotry, and maybe someday this country will be a better place where we can all walk down whichever path we want instead of being forced to simply choose what is left.

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I'm Not Bossy

It's crazy how people still think disparities in treatment between genders don't exist. We love to believe that just because we have come so far it automatically means that we are done making changes.

Consider the journey for equality like remodeling your house. When everything becomes outdated and it is evident that progress needs to be made - you make it. You try to keep as much of the existing framework in place and you build from there. You repaint, redecorate, and refurnish. And at the end of it all you grab your glass of wine and soak in all the hard work you've done.

Then ten or fifteen years pass and you realize that all your hard work is starting to fall apart. The walls have a few holes, paint is chipping... it's rather disappointing. At one time it was something you were proud of - something you saw as an important way to invest your effort and time, but now it seems as though that pretty picture isn't so pretty anymore due to being damaged over time or even poorly maintained.

Our journey for gender equality should be looked at in the same fashion. The progress we make should never indicate that we are forever finished or as if there will never be anymore work to do. And I think one of the steps to gradually fixing this issue is ending the era of female leadership being labeled "bossy."

The reality is, when a man stands up before his peers and pushes for change he is considered a leader, but in a lot of cases if a woman exhibits these same behaviors she is considered bossy.Sure, we've made plenty of progress on this specific subject as women have time and time again proven that they have just as much if not more leadership potential than men (remind me again why we should have had to "prove" this while with men it was assumed - just for those of you who think there isn't an issue). But remember what I said early about progress... with certain things you can make as much progress as you want, but there will always be room for improvement, especially after time passes.

I know what you're probably thinking and inside your head you're jumping out of your seat to raise your hand like a frantic fifth grader. "What if a woman really is being bossy? Am I not supposed to tell her she's being a bad leader just because she's a woman?" No, of course not. In fact, you're hurting her and her potential more by not telling her. When someone - anyone - is being a bad leader they should be pulled aside and made aware of their behavior. But that's just it - it shouldn't just be because of their gender. Whether you're a man or you're a woman, if you are genuinely exhibiting poor leadership then you should most definitely be held accountable. But if the only reason they seem bossy is because they have a pair of boobs - try again.
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A Different Kind of Heartbreak

It's crazy how one minute someone is one of the biggest parts of your life and the next you find yourself looking at old photographs wondering when things started to take a turn. They've been with you through it all - the good, the bad, and the ugly - but now they're really not with you much at all. You look at the memories as if you still haven't really accepted that things have changed.

Whether it's a friend you've known since childhood or a friend you've met later on - losing their companionship can fuel emotional responses you didn't even know you were capable of. Fallen friendships are the version of heartbreak no one really warns you about. Everyone tells you about the boy who will break your heart into a million little pieces, but no one bothers to tell you that the girl who you so willingly share everything with is capable of blowing it to smithereens.

There's something special about a best friend. Something that doesn't just develop with years, but develops with conversations, memories, and laughter. She's been there to eat ice cream with you after a breakup. She's been there to talk to when no one else seems to want to listen. She's there to tell you when you're being unrealistic, as well as when you're settling. There's something about a best friend that makes admitting that you're losing her all that much harder.

Maybe its been a long time coming or maybe it caught you by surprise, but sometimes things just start to add up. Eventually you find yourself staring at a long list of cons and a minimal to non-existent list of pros of continuing the friendship. It's hard to look at someone who has always been there and somehow try to picture them gone. Trying to fathom how you'd really feel without them there. Trying to convince yourself that maybe there's a way to mend what's been broken.

But sometimes you honestly decide that enough is enough. You've weighed the options and they're beyond a chance for the benefit of the doubt. And that's okay. Because no matter what happens you should never compromise yourself or your well-being for the sake of maintaining a friendship with someone who doesn't seem to be bringing anything positive into your life anymore. And yes, it will most likely tear you apart to watch as you both go in different directions, but recognize that you have to do what's best for YOU.

Truthfully, friendship is only as good as the conversation, the company, and the consistency it brings to your life. A friendship can easily become toxic and literally extinguish your light if you aren't careful. And that's when you have to ask yourself - is it worth it? Is putting my well-being, happiness, and self-worth at risk simply for the sake of allowing this person to remain in my life worth it? And sometimes, as hard as it is, you just might have to answer "no."

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Make America Great Again

I have been attempting to hold my tongue throughout the majority of this presidential election bologna, but I'm at my whits end with this Trump crap. When he announced his plans to run for president I honestly thought he was joking. And now that I hear people are actually planning to vote for him, I can't imagine what kind of hell this country is about to become knowing that even if he isn't elected we still have people who actually believe in what he has to say.

Let's Talk Wall
Explain to me how building a wall around America is a solution for problems with immigration? Sure, this country may have a problem with illegal immigrants and maybe there is room for reform - but explain to me how building a wall is supposed to be a solution. Oh and not to mention that he wants the president of Mexico to pay for it, and when he refused (uh, duh) Trump exclaimed that it will now be 10 feet higher. So who's paying for this wall now? (careful, your taxes are crying).

And let's be real - people coming into this country from Mexico are not "rapists" as he has proposed. They are people searching for a better life and more opportunities for their families - just as the founders of this nation were at one point in history (btw we are all a product of immigration - SURPRISE). And of course this should be done legally, but that doesn't mean building a wall will make things better. It simply ruins a long standing relationship with our neighboring countries and pisses a lot of people off - so let's not and not even say we did.

Let's Talk Hate
Trump has also expressed his concerns regarding Muslims in America. FYI: Kicking Muslims out of the country will not save our country from terrorism because these people and their religion are not the problem. If anything they are part of the solution because they practice their civil liberties as all of us should be empowered to do. They are our friends, classmates, coworkers, and neighbors practicing a religion they firmly believe in just like the rest of us may freely do.

And for those of you convinced that their holy book the Qur'an expresses oppressing women, violence, or things of that nature - pick up a Bible and I bet you'll find the same things. So let's get one thing straight - Muslims are not the problem, HATE is. And hate is something Donald Trump knows a lot about, and that's not what we need at the helm of this country.

And if targeting a group of people based on religion doesn't ring a bell in your memory of world history - maybe you should read up a little on the Holocaust and see how that worked out because that's about where this country is headed if Trump becomes president. Hail Trump? I think not. 

Let's Talk KKK
Oh, and a little bit of important news - Trump has been endorsed by the KKK and has not condemned them, he simply claimed not to know enough about it to do so. Oh okay... but you still won't condemn their endorsement even though it's the KKK? "I don't know what group you're talking about" (here's the proof, if you really need it). Maybe I should call into question your citizenship, Trump, because you don't know about one of the most infamous racist, radical groups in American history...


Let's Talk Women
Trump also consistently objectifies and belittles women (hence why I'm sad to see so many women blindly support him). He even goes as far to say that rape in the military should basically be expected simply because when you put men and women together that's the only likely product... Yeah, how about men just shouldn't rape women. That would be good.  Don't believe me? No problem, here's the twitter image to prove it.

He tosses around degrading statements about women all the time. Even his running mates have been subject to his distasteful comments that so many of you adore simply because of his lack of political correctness. Sure, there is room to be direct rather than sugar coat, but room to objectify and make hateful comments about women should never be made. But his response to how the media discusses his poor treatment of women would simply be this: "You know, it really doesn’t matter what the media write as long as you’ve got a young, and beautiful, piece of ass." Explain to me how that makes for a quality president.

Read more at http://www.marieclaire.co.uk/blogs/550112/donald-trump-quotes.html#C1re2jrvVJHtFd2c.99Explain

And I know what you supporters are going to say.

"It's not all bad." Okay, so you're telling me that the "good" should make up for the bad? Did you not just read those paragraphs above? Any person who would support that crap doesn't make a good president BECAUSE they support it, not because they support other things that might compensate (btw they probably don't).

"At least he tells it like it is." But I've got news for you - there are plenty of jackasses in this world who tell it like it is but that sure as hell doesn't equate to a good president. Political correctness or lack there of does not make a good president - but being a good person just might be important. 

So let's make America great again by NOT voting for this asshole - K thanks, America. You could literally vote for Vermin Supreme (aka the free pony giving, boot-as-hat wearing candidate) and we'd be better off.

Side note: If you need a refresher on how to be a liar, Trump is the perfect source. You can see why by watching this: 



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