Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Closing Time

Not every night out is the best night out, but you always stay a little later at the really good parties. And if you stay late enough, you are often subjected to the final song of the night. And as the song plays you reluctantly drink the last sip of your Natty, pull your friend off the frat boy, and take leave.

First comes the pregame. You prepare yourself for the night you're about to have. You throw everything you own on the floor as you try on outfit after outfit just to end up in the one your roommate suggested in the first place. Your skirt is so short it's having existential crisis and pondering it's existence because it is so mini it's barely there. You start your night off with your favs - getting pumped about the crazy night your about to have and taking plenty of pictures before your makeup melts off and you look like a hot mess. And then you venture out to find the perfect party.

Now you're at the party. You and your girls are sticking together to avoid any unnecessary contact with boys who don't know how to ASK first before attempting to rub their front-side on your back-side - also known as "dancing." You stand in the typical circle and dance around each other until one of you has one too many jello shots and then you just end up dancing ON each other which only interests the boys even more.

Now your at the "what-the-fuck-was-I-thinking" part of the night but you won't actually call it that until the next morning. Right now you think you're making the best decisions of your life. You climb on the table and dance - forgetting all about your invisible skirt, but who cares. You grab that boy who was a 5 earlier but he's clearly an 8 now courtesy of your third cup of jungle juice and let him ask for your number. You might even invite him home for cuddling - just cuddling. 

And the very bittersweet end is near. You know that it's time to go home. Your feet are so sore you can't even feel the pain anymore, your hair is in that messy bun from your 20th trip to the bathroom when you just said "fuck it" and put it up, and that 8 is a foggy 9 and you know that it's time to cuddle with him. And then it plays... "Closing time. One last call for alcohol so finish your whiskey or beer..." 

I honestly think that college is like one big, great night out. Freshman year is the pregame when you try to figure out who you are now that you've started this new chapter in your life. You try to find the best friends to spend the next four years with and you put your best foot forward. Sophomore year is the happy first half of the party and you're still learning the ropes. Junior year is the other half of the party when you've finally figured yourself out enough to know that she's boring and so you start to act out a little. And senior year is the the final hour when you realize you've had an amazing time regardless of any mishaps along the way and you're thankful for the memories. And then it plays some more... "Closing time. You don't have to go home but you can't stay here."

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Carried Away At 1,000,000 MPH

Boys like him should come with a warning label: "You're about to get carried away. Hold on tight. Speed will be beyond calculation. Turns will be unexpected. Can and will end at any point without warning. Broken heart is highly likely."  Something about him made all the walls I had built collapse and I didn't know why; I just melted right in the palm of his hand. I wasn't even trying to meet someone, but once he came into the picture there really was no turning back.

Being with him was like moving at a million miles per hour. There wasn't much hesitation and I didn't really consider the risk I might be taking. It felt incredible to be with someone who I felt I could be myself around and who actually seemed to value me beyond something physical. Once we realized how we felt about each other, it immediately accelerated and there was no chance of slowing down.

Everything about our relationship felt like it was on fast-forward, and unfortunately things ended just about as quickly as they started. It seemed like his life never slowed down, and my presence created no exception. At first I admired his constant desire to live life in the fast lane, but eventually I realized how much he enjoyed being in that lane solo. I convinced myself that I needed to be more like him and to be more concerned with where we were rather than where we could have been going, but that didn't change how devalued it made me feel.

I realize that sometimes you have to be the spectator; cheering on your significant other while you sit in the stands. But the relationship shouldn't leave you feeling like you're always a second thought. You should feel like you are an essential part of their happiness and a valued part of their life. I let myself believe that it was okay because I thought it would change with time. I believed that eventually I would become as important to him as he had become to me, but he let me go and that made me realize I was wrong. And I can't blame him for letting go. I think if I was really who he was supposed to be with he wouldn't have felt like he needed to shove me in - he would have willingly made room without hesitation.

Sometimes things just don't work no matter how hard you try, especially when life throws a curve ball and changes the entire game. And that's just the way life works. Sometimes you can meet someone who you think is incredibly right at the absolute wrong time. But life doesn't slow down for anybody, and you better be prepared because getting carried away at a million miles per hour is no joke.

Wednesday, August 5, 2015

But First... Let Me Take A Selfie

I know what you "selfie-shamers" are thinking about us "selfie-takers." We're narcissistic, right? Insecure? Maybe you'd even call us an attention-seeking fill-in-the-blank? But if that's really the case then I could make the same arguments about you. I mean, it would make perfect sense seeing as I could argue that you're mad someone else other than you is receiving attention, you're jealous that someone else feels comfortable posting a selfie when you don't, or maybe you're commenting on our selfies for attention. See how that works? There are two sides to every story, and there are more reasons (beyond those related to external validation) to post selfies.

Anti-Selfie Arguments: (click here to see the article I'm using as a reference)

1. No one cares.
UUURRKAAADUR. We don't post selfies because we don't know people don't care. We post selfies because WE care. If we are feeling good and we want the world to know about it, then maybe we feel like posting a selfie is a good way to share that confidence.

2. You will lose followers.
And that is perfectly fine. If someone doesn't support our posts then they are better off not following us anyways. No sense in them scrolling down their feed just to see a selfie and scoff every day.

3. The filters are a lie.
WELL NO SHIT. And that pretty sunset pic you took probably looks great with that filter too. People don't just use filters to alter the way the way they look in their selfies; they use filters to enhance their reality. This isn't news.

4. You did not #WakeUpLikeThat.
Okay, sure. Maybe so-and-so didn't wake up with six pounds of mascara on her face or a perfect contour, but is it really up to you to call her out on it? Are you really doing society any favors by trolling through instagram accounts to call out fully made up faces for not waking up perfect? Piece of advice - get a life.

5. The number of likes you get should not be directly correlated to your self-worth.
Now here, my friends, is where we agree. No, selfies should not be used as a form of direct validation. But the issue here is you don't always know if that's why the person posted the selfie. If the caption reads something like "I'm so ugly" or anything along those lines then I COMPLETELY agree that it shouldn't have been posted. You should post a selfie because you love yourself and you're proud of who you are, not because you feel awful and think "likes" are going to make you feel better.

6. You're missing out on worthy photo-ops because you're too busy striking your best pose.
Okay, so I'm not allowed to take a picture of myself enjoying my surroundings? Just because I want to document the expression on my face while I'm hiking through Hocking Hills with my two best friends doesn't mean I wasn't really soaking in all of my surroundings. And sharing it on instagram is my way of thanking those friends for sharing in those moments with me. Back off dude.

Are we done yet? I wish.

7. They make you seem self-absorbed.
So... because I'm confident and I feel like posting a selfie because I look good I'm completely absorbed in myself and have no care in the world for other people other than me... interesting. FALSE. Please take your selfie-psycho-analyzing somewhere else.

8. Everyone can see through your humblebragging.
I for one think that bragging can be a good thing sometimes. Of course, staying humble is often essential. But I think it's okay to acknowledge your accomplishments and growth - even if others see it as bragging. Maybe you just recently mastered a new makeup trick, maybe you climbed to the top of a mountain, or maybe you lost 50 pounds. Whatever the reason, you should be able to post a selfie to commemorate the moment if that's what you feel like doing.

9. Your duck face is going to get you mocked.
Oi vey... If the girl wants to do the duck face then so be it. She doesn't live to please other people. If you don't like her duck face or if someone picks on her duck face - who is the real problem person here? I'll give you a hint - it's not the duck. You obviously never read the ugly duckling.

10. You should be watching the road.
Totally in agreement here & I don't really think this needs to be explained much. Don't multitask while driving. Even if the lighting is perfect and the wind is blowing your hair. I don't care. It's not worth it.

11. We all know you took 20 awful ones before the one you posted.
Picture it, you're at Thanksgiving dinner and you've all just entered the deepest stage of food induced coma when your great aunt tells you it's time to gather for family pictures (c'mon guys, this can't only happen to me...). Every one lines up but you never can take just one picture because somebody blinked or somebody was in the bathroom hiding. Sure, maybe a selfie should be simpler because it's just one person, but no body is perfect and sometimes it takes a few bad angles before you feel like it really captures how good you look and how good you feel about it. NO SHAME.

12. You should be embarrassed if you do this in public.
Okay, sometimes this can be pretty awkward if your whipping out your selfie stick in the middle of the mall. But if you want to take a selfie next to that giraffe at the zoo - you do you. If you really think the person is embarrassed, maybe you should offer to take the picture for them instead of pointing and laughing - even if it is in the canned food isle of the grocery store.


13. Your cleavage is never an accident, but nice try.
Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that girls who simply post these for attention should get praised or something. But at the end of the day this girl might just be really proud of her assets and wants to put them in the spotlight. There are pros and cons to all body types, so when someone fully accepts who they are and feels like flaunting it a little - who are you to stop them? And if the real problem here is your jealousy... well, then you and your A-cups can just sit back down.

The reality is we are all a little insecure, a little narcissistic, and a little attention seeking sometimes. The person in that selfie might not be as bad as you think. And I know this because the person in that selfie is often me. And I'm pretty sure if I didn't post it for some sort of need for validation then there are probably other people like me who didn't either. Whether or not someone takes a selfie shouldn't define them. I don't care if its obvious they  pulled their shirt down, ruffled up their shirt to show their tattoo or abs, or took a picture in their new bikini in February; that's their choice. It's not your job to be the selfie police, hiding behind your keyboard for protection. So if you don't like it, there is an "unfollow" button for a reason.