Tuesday, July 28, 2015

What Now?

For so long my life has been a series of dreams followed by a carefully designed justification for why letting them go was easier than actually trying. I have been consistently running away from creating dreams simply because that's been easier than facing the thought that they might end up in failure. As I started my third year at Ohio State, I vowed to change that attitude.

Maybe a lot of the things I have managed to do this year weren't on my "dream" list exactly, but I don't think I would be taking my dreams seriously without them. Becoming co-president of a club has inspired me and taught me how much I enjoy being in a leadership role. Blogging has not only given me a place to enjoy writing, but it has even helped a few of my followers. I even got my license recently which just proves that no matter how long something takes it's still worth doing if you want it badly enough. It's amazing how just a few changes in my life have made such a difference, and it only makes me more hopeful for the challenges and opportunities I will face in the coming years.

As I approach my last year of college I can't help but think of the obligatory "What now?" question that eats away at so many graduates. It sneak-attacks at family gatherings, floods the conversation at dinner, and crushes you each and every time you hear someone else answer it when you still have no idea. But while some kids take an unnecessary fifth year or start working at the only job they could find, I think I'd rather start pursuing dreams instead of settling just to avoid failing.

Lately I've been hooked on this idea that I want to move to California. I've been considering it for about a year or so, but I always follow up the thought with a "yeah, right," but I think it's time I start taking it more seriously. A lot of people think it's crazy and expensive (which it is), but I think it's something I need to do for myself.

Maybe by the time I graduate I'll completely change my mind, but I think from now on I'm done putting my dreams on some fear-induced back burner. This last year has taught me that avoiding failure is the same as avoiding a chance to succeed and find happiness. It's time that I stop letting the idea of failure stop me from actually facing it once in a while because if I don't it's only going to keep me from being satisfied with my life.

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