Thursday, March 26, 2015

Let Cool 20 Minutes Before Serving

Everyone loves chocolate chip cookies (and if you don't... well, whatever). And most people - no matter how convincing the back of the box tries to be - don't wait for them to cool before they indulge in their ooey gooey chocolaty deliciousness. So if we can't even handle following a simple rule for cooling cookies that was decided for us by someone else, why should we follow society's dating rules that say we have to wait a certain amount of time after a break-up to start dating again? (Please tell me you knew this post wasn't going to be all about cookies...)

Dating is a lot like eating freshly baked cookies. We allow ourselves to enjoy the company of another person, we give ourselves to them, and sometimes we may even love them. And we don't always wait the right amount of time or maybe we indulge too much - but it isn't our job to decide the right time or how much is too much for someone else.

And don't sit there and pretend like you've never looked at someone and said (or at least thought) "Isn't it a little soon to start dating again?" Even I have thought it or said it at one time or another. But who are we to tell someone else when they should or shouldn't date? Who are we to dictate for someone else when they are "allowed" to move on with their life? The truth is we aren't, and our opinions about it need to stop.

In reality, we have no idea what someone's relationship was like. We only saw what they wanted us to see or what they could show us in the presence of others. Outside observers don't always get to see the details of other people's relationships (which is a good thing), but that means our opinions are garbage because we never have the full story. The person in the relationship may not even realize how unhappy they were until they get out of it, so how can you tell them that they have to feel sad and miserable when they may have spent the entire relationship feeling that way?

Even if someone walks you through every moment of their relationship, you still may not feel the same way they do about the situation because you didn't live through it and your perceptions about it will always differ. No person is the same and no person goes through things the same way. So when you try to create a mold for everyone to fit, it's never going to work. Don't be agitated when people don't fit the mold and do what YOU think they should be doing - be proud of them for doing what makes them happy and consider doing the same for yourself.

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